Film: True (Animal) Love

AAP Press Release
San Francisco, CA

Today approximately three thousand people gathered outside the Garrisonville Playhouse in San Francisco to protest the release of Four Legs of Romance, the controversial new film from Bent Truth Productions. Signs reading, “Morality now!”, “Leave Love Alone!” and “Where’s the Line?” are just some of the many slogans painted on poster boards that speckled the large mob.

“What gets me is that this is happening in our country,” Mark Tenan, one of the protestors, said. “This is America. America. …I never thought I’d see the day.”

Some protestors were much more verbose in their opposition, while others simply stood there either holding a sign or murmuring quiet prayers.

The film, its first showing scheduled for 7pm tomorrow, follows the story of a college student named Stuart who moves in with Marcus, his boyfriend of four years. However, the relationship sours when Marcus decides he doesn’t want to get married and says he wants to see other people. Seeking solace, Stuart finds Taylor at a local park and the two hit it off immediately. After spending weeks together, they become intimate, and eventually Stuart moves out and gets a place with his new lover.

The only catch is that Taylor is a 7-year-old golden retriever.

The film has sparked huge controversy nation-wide as both advocates and opponents of animal lovers have come face to face, speaking openly about the topic for the first time.

“No matter what you believe about this issue, I think it’s about time it gets the attention it deserves,” Congressman William Cobbles (D-Nevada) said in a press release this morning.

“I think open debate is good,” Gordon Marr, the chairman of the Animal and Human Union Group (AHUG) said. “People have been trying to criminalize and undercut this movement for nearly ten years—it’s about time the real issues of rights and freedom come to light.”

Others aren’t so enthusiastic. “The fact that this issue has even come up for debate is an insult to our dignity as humans, as well as an affront to the dwindling morality left in this country,” Michael Winfreid, leader of the Red Line Coalition said upon hearing of the movies’ release.

The movie is said to attack the very heart of the matter in question, its tagline bearing the commonly uttered phrase, “Love Knows No Bounds.”

“It’s an epic—a traditional American love story that shows a dynamic of selfless love that most people are ignorant of,” Stephen McGainis, director and producer of Four Legs of Romance said in defense to a storm of criticism. “There is a lot of misunderstanding and hatred out there, as well as a lot of people who have a serious God-complex. …This film will be a wake-up call to anyone with an open mind and heart.”

The controversy of zoophilia, or the sexual attraction of a human to an animal, started nearly 10 years ago after an ill-fated affair between Kenny Lawrence of Seattle and a Clydesdale named Laurie. Shortly after his death, Kenny’s brother and sole witness of the event sued the horse owner for forcing the affair to remain secret.

“Kenny would come by to visit [Laurie] and give her some fresh carrots because McGregor wasn’t feeding her well,” Jim Lawrence said. “One day McGregor comes out and finds Kenny and me with Laurie, and instead of understanding he went off and got his shotgun. He said we weren’t to come around anymore and he’d shoot us if he saw us again. The only way Kenny could see her was at night—and that’s why the accident happened.”

After almost two months of trials and testimonies, the jury ruled in favor of Jim Lawrence, awarding him $2.1 million for the accident.

“No one should have to see his brother die like that,” an unnamed juror said afterwards.

Since that ruling, zoophiles everywhere began stepping out and standing up for what they believe. Prominent celebrities like Terry Wilkinson and Veronica West gave even more strength to the movement and gave zoophiles everywhere hope that their love would one day be recognized.

“It’s so hard,” Beth Saunders, an admitted zoophile said, “trying to keep it a secret. I don’t have to worry about him saying anything, but he’s smart enough to know that I’m uncomfortable introducing him to my friends.”

“This is supposed to be a free country,” Maurice Higgins of the ACLU said, “and what kind of free country is it when people aren’t allowed to share their lives without fear of abuse and persecution?”

“I got fired from my job when I claimed Brownie on my tax and employment forms,” Gary Zimmerman, author of the book Lawless Making Laws said about his two-year-old canine. “Why should I have to take her to the vet? She deserves better than that.”

The debate has even divided the homosexual community—a fact that comes as a surprise for many people. Some gays believe that animal lovers should be given the same rights they have, while others see it as a separate issue completely.

“It’s an insult, it really is,” Allen Watson, an alternative-lifestyle-husband and father of three said. “Our cause was for love between two humans to not be judged because of sexual orientation. We’re talking about two different species here! It’s not the same, not the same at all, and it’s infuriating that we’d be compared to animals.”

Louis Frindell Gist of the Social Observers Guild, and professor of Inter-Specie Relationships at Harvard University sees homosexual opposition as hypocritical. “Love doesn’t know bounds of any kind, whether it’s social, economic, racial or specie-related. Twenty years ago homosexuality was standing right where zoophilia is today. It wasn’t widely accepted and it was met with ignorant opposition. These people know what it’s like to be victimized and persecuted because they have different orientations from everyone else. For them to draw the line here makes no sense.”

Dr. George Carter, chairman of the Abnormal Psychology Department at UCLA has studied zoophilia for many years and arrived at a similar conclusion. “Many people have a deep love for their pets. We’ve seen cases where there is a 2-3 year grieving period for the loss of an animal friend, as well as a lack of a desire to get another animal afterwards. There is a great deal of loyalty shared between both animals and humans that create a natural bond; sexual intimacy is a natural and logical step in the exploration of such a relationship. It’s true we are of different species, but doesn’t a dog have a heart? A mind? A soul? A body? He or she makes decisions, shows pain, fear, happiness, and every other emotion we experience as humans. The only reason this is unnatural is because it isn’t normal. In fact, I expect zoophilia to disappear from the ‘abnormal’ studies in the next few years.”

Some advocates of animal love accuse the church and spiritual leaders of intolerance and a complete misinterpretation of scripture. “God said he put animals on the earth for man’s pleasure,” Seymour Armstrong, author of the Zoophilia Bible claims. “They were his companions, just like Eve was. The only forbidden act was eating the fruit of the tree of good and evil. It’s excessive pride for these religious leaders to stand up and denounce animal love as lustful and abominable. They think just because it’s strange to them and they don’t understand it that they have the right to judge us?”

A glance over some zoophilia blogs will show that the persecution does not go unnoticed—by either the human or animal.

“I didn’t choose this—I was born this way,” Kelly Mills laments. “This is the only love I’ve ever known. No person has ever been to me what Cheezey is, and I don’t see how anyone will. He’s sweet, he’s understanding, he’s open, and he never puts me down or makes me feel like I don’t matter. There are all these women getting abused by their husbands and that’s normal, but here’s someone who’s never laid a paw on me and he’s treated like dirt.”

“Every time the news comes on, Tiny’s ears droop and he gets really depressed,” Chad Hylton said of his cocker spaniel. “He knows what’s going on. People think animals are dumb, but they’re not. You wouldn’t talk about someone’s human wife like this…I don’t understand how you can do it to an animal.”

While most critics are set in their denial of true animal love, many are simply skeptical. “I don’t get it, but I’m open minded,” an anonymous man said. “I mean, I don’t think I have a right to deny anyone true love…and if they find it with an animal that’s great for them.”

“They aren’t hurting anyone,” Bill Baxter, a lawyer for zoophile rights argues. “It makes them happy, and it’s not interfering with anyone else’s life. This is an issue about human rights: life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. If a loving an intimate relationship makes someone happy, no one has the grounds to deny that to them.”

“To say that my love for Fluffy is any less significant or powerful is wrong and it’s judgmental. This is who I am, and I’m fine with it. It’s everyone else who has the problem.”

While no significant court rulings have been made to date, the issue is expected to go to the Supreme Court within the next five years—a timetable many believe has been shortened by McGainis’ film.

“Media exposure like this will bring the struggle to a head much quicker than previously thought,” said Betty Almonds, a movie reviewer for the New York Times. “It’s a compelling piece that reveals the legitimate passion and deep love that can exist when an animal and human connect. Artistically it’s a masterpiece that is accented by some vulnerable and honest performances.” Almonds was one of ten critics to be invited to a private screening of the film last weekend. “Dislike for this movie won’t come from its execution or presentation, but from bias’s and misunderstandings of the subject matter,” she added.

Regardless of the case or the rulings, most Americans say zoophilia will never be accepted. “You can make it legal, but it doesn’t make it right,” said college student Martin Thomas. “I lost faith in our courts to make moral decisions, so I don’t doubt that there might be legal marriages for animal lovers one day. You can distort and pervert it as much as you want, but it can’t be justified.”

Regardless of the dispute, the film has sold out in the ten theaters it is scheduled to open in and there are already rumors that similarly themed projects are in the works. “It’s a universal theme about love, understanding, and finding happiness,” said Phillip Lodge, who is the voice of Taylor’s inner thoughts. “Sex isn’t this sacred thing—it’s something we do to express our feelings, and we need to rethink the limits we put on the expression.”

McGainis concluded his press release with this statement. “In 100 years, people won’t look at zoophilia as a disease or strange act. It will be a part of society. Kids born in the future won’t think there’s anything wrong with it because it’ll be normal. They’ll know there was a time when humanity tried to oppress freedom and belittled those who fought for it. I guess, in a way, I’m just trying to find myself on the right side of history.”

An Alternate Press Release by Trevor D. Sylte,
December 9, 2017